My life.....

Sometimes I wonder where I belong, Who I am, What I see
when I look in the mirror at this face staring right back at
me.

It's a shadow, It's a glare. I'm this person who has a name but
I can't seem to find myself something is missing.

I'm out of control, I'm a crashing mess " It's those little pills"
I keep telling myself! "NO" It's just me! It's kind of like in this
dark place....Where there's all these happy faces, I smile to,
I laugh along, But deep down in this dark space I realize there's
something wrong.

Could I be depressed, Could I be stressed, Maybe It's both.......
I'm dieing inside. Screaming for help. Drowning in my emotion.
I can't breath, I can't talk, I want out!!!

But what is out? A bullet in my brain, Is death my only way out?

She is life!! I hold her tiny hand. There's five fingers, Yep there's
five more. She loves me...She doesn't even know me....
Would she love me if she did?

I cry, It's all just so sad, The tears are wet. I laugh, Then I tough
her face. Silly I am....That it is dark and lonely in this place.
But weird how I want her to need me. If only she could see inside
my soul. We are not alike.
But I made her, and she loves me. So I'll live another day in my
shadow, My silence it echoes to breath.....

My life!! It's only what I make of it. So I will try to be me, the one
who I used to be......

I wrote this when I was going through A tough time. I was really
sad. But the good , the bad, The ugly, Are all apart of poetry....
And can be exspected from me... Nikiz_Heart
C: feb. 10, 2003